Filmmaking is crazy

I heard someone on a bad TV show say that "deciding to have a baby isn't rational, it's instinctual, evolutionary..." the idea being that there are no tangible rewards to having children.

Filmmaking isn't "rational" either, then. It's not a good way to make a living, it's not glamorous, despite the perception of the masses, and it's often more painful than pleasant. After finishing a film, one often feels "I'll never do that again, not for that amount of pay, not under those conditions..." and a few weeks later, the next film takes shape and if we're honest with ourselves, we know it's going to be the same, painful process it was the last time. Until you "make it big", it will always be the same.

We used to say in the office "someday someone will move our furniture for us when we move offices" and "someday we'll hire an assistant or a secretary or a monkey to do the menial parts of our jobs" but we don't say that very much any more. I think we're happy where we are now, making low budget genre films for small paychecks and a lot of creative freedom. We're not making films for the glamor, nor for the money, nor for the pleasure of it.

Babies cost a lot, they're anything but glamorous, but I have three kids, and wouldn't change that for the world. Is that rational?

Is it rational to want to create things (babies, movies, whatever) and nurture them and see them take on their own life out in the world? Or is that just instinct and evolution?

When I was a kid I loved fireworks. In my teen years I loved fireworks so much we'd have huge fireworks wars and brag of our burn scars. In my twenties I was bored with fireworks, just noise and light, so what? Now, in my thirties, I have kids whose eyes light up like mine used to when we do fireworks every Canada Day, 4th of July and New Year's Eve. And now, in my thirties, I somehow love fireworks again, maybe more than ever. And that goes for Lego, catapults, quicksand, the beach, and all the other things I was bored with in my twenties. They say you live through your kids. I'd say it's rather that you can see things through them and remember what's great about those parts of life, long after you've become bored of them.

What does that have to do with making movies? I'm kind of bored of Empire Strikes Back. But I still enjoy that my two sons love it as much as I ever did... and when I write screenplays, how do I know what's fun and exciting for the audience? How do I stay excited about it? I see it through their eyes and I enjoy it through their eyes, and having and honing that skill has everything to do with filmmaking success.

Is it rational to make movies and have kids? Is it just instinct and evolution that drive me to it?

I make movies and video games (who has the coolest dad now?). My thirties are a second childhood. How much glamor and money is that worth?